How Operative “A” Got So Scared: My #1 Worst Fear in Life

128What is it that’s got A worried?

What keeps me up at night?

What am I SCARED of?

Well the answer is simple.

I’m scared to live a boring, pedestrian, unremarkable life.

My worst nightmare is a life that looks like this:

Birth->Schooling System->College->Work, Work, Work->Retire->Die

And all the things in between, like consumer debt, alcoholism, and obesity.

The regular grind of working for all your good years, retiring physically and mentally drained and dying.


I want to do something out of the ordinary.

And I will do it.

This is why I quit playing video-games.

This is why I quit watching/reading the news.

This is why I quit watching endless shows on Netflix.

This is why I severely limit my computer/internet browsing time.

This is why I got rid of most of my possessions, starting with the TV and gaming system.

This is why I quit being an anti-social shut it and brooding in my apartment.

This is why I journal and regularly assess my position in life.

To make sure I am not sitting, that I am not stagnant.

To make sure my efforts are producing results, and I am not just spinning my wheels.

Is that a little extreme? Yes, that is the point.

Three words: Whatever it Takes.


It seems like there are people who are somehow ahead of the game.

They are always doing incredible stuff.

It is a low percentage of the population, however.

Visionaries, or whatever you want to call them.

Now, I feel like I’ve been ahead of the game since the get-go.

I would talk about ideas in 2008, that are now, world changing businesses.

Problem was, that was all I did was talk.

Me and my buddy would walk around and discuss all sorts of stuff that was ahead of the game.

A solid decade ahead.

Doesn’t matter because I didn’t act on my ideas.

The difference now is I go with my gut and actually do what I see gaining momentum in the future.

I write what I know will be big in the future.

Urban Exploration, Stealth Camping, Minimalist Living.

All these things will gain incredible traction with people who are not satisfied or content with our increasingly digital and led screen saturated world.

It like in the movie the matrix, where Neo knows something isn’t quite right.

He doesn’t know what or why, he just knows something is off.
That’s the way it is today, and people try to dull that feeling or fill it with something else.

People develop all kinds of habits and strange hobbies and hang ups as a result of this.

I just know what feels real to me, and that is seeing cool stuff, exploring abandoned place and tunnels, physical training to be at my peak, robust camping gear and self-reliance, eating good food, and having great self-respect.

This is the reason I am not too worried about the future.

I am an observer of people and patterns.

My talents come from being able to look at a massive amount of data, and pick out seeming non related events as clear connections.

To draw actionable steps and recognize a pattern in otherwise scattered bits of data.

I use this to optimize my life, through trying out new methods and keeping things that works.

As you remember, human beings are fully malleable.

It’s the scientific method:

Observation->Research->Hypothesis->Experiment->Is it Working? Yes/No->Conclusion.

And the experiment part has to be done by you, not other “experts”, not the popular consensus, not the authorities.

You have to find out what works for you.

I also like exact numbers and very clear parameters.

I like precise timing and meticulous analysis.

For example: You have 0 to 100 years of life on this earth.

During that time, what you accomplish or become is up to you.

Just know the clock is ticking, and progress must be made.

So get real with yourself.

Just don’t get caught sitting and killing time.

If you do an activity and at the end you are in the same place as before, that’s killing time.

If you do an activity and you are worse off, that’s detrimental.

Even if you see small improvements, but they take too long, you should seek other more effective methods, while continuing using the current slow one, until you find something better.

Self-analysis is critical to happiness and fulfillment.

Everybody know what they truly want to be doing, it just takes being honest.

Once you can do that, you can start doing what you want and have a wealth of creative power.

Until Next Time, and

All the Best.